10 Pieces of Wellness Advice That Make Me Cringe—and What Actually Helps

Today I’m calling out some of the most popular wellness advice that honestly… makes me cringe. These are the kinds of tips that sound inspirational—but when you’re going through real-life stress, hormone shifts, anxiety, fatigue, or grief—they can feel tone-deaf, out of touch, and sometimes just plain insulting.

Here are 10 pieces of wellness advice that make me cringe—and what actually helps instead. 

#1: “Just practice gratitude.” 

Gratitude is powerful, but not when it’s used to shut down real feelings. When you’re tired, overwhelmed, stressed, and life is happening all over the place- being told to “just be grateful” can feel like emotional gaslighting.

What actually helps:

Talking to someone who gets it. You don’t need fixing—you need someone who can hold space for what you’re carrying. Someone who will just listen and be there to support you. That person may also be able to relate to you, and it’s nice to not feel alone.

#2: “Manifest better energy.” 

Hot flashes? Brain fog? Mood swings? That’s not a “manifestation problem.” It’s hormones. You can’t manifest your way out of biology. Stress, taking care of aging parents, work, marriage- that’s life and you can’t manifest your way out of that either.

What actually helps: 

Learning what your body is going through. Supporting your nervous system. Fueling yourself with real food, not guilt. Taking a moment for yourself- and doing whatever you want- even if it’s not doing anything.

#3: “Self-care means bubble baths, candles, and spa treatments.” 

Listen, I love a warm bubble bath, and I love candles- and going to the spa is a treat- but when you’re breaking down emotionally or physically, none of those things will fix that.

What actually helps: 

Rest. Setting boundaries. Saying no. Turning your phone off. Canceling plans. Doing those things without guilt. And maybe Therapy. That’s self-care.

 #4: “Drink more water and walk it off.” 

This one makes me want to scream. Water and walking are lovely—but they’re not a prescription for adrenal fatigue, chronic pain, or anxiety.

What actually helps: 

Paying attention to your body’s cues. Prioritizing recovery. Seeking real, comprehensive care from a healthcare provider.

#5: “If you just lost weight, you’d feel better.” 

Nope. This one causes harm. Maybe we could lose a few pounds, but wellness isn’t measured by your clothing size. Period.

What actually helps: 

Building strength. Eating in a way that nourishes. Prioritizing sleep. Feeling safe in your own skin—right now.

#6: “No pain, no gain.” 

That was actually a poster on our gym wall in high school. Let’s retire this one forever. Pain isn’t a badge of honor—it’s a signal. You don’t need to suffer to grow.

What actually helps: 

Sustainable, nourishing practices. Progress that honors your energy, your season, your body- where you are now.

#7: “Just think more positively.” 

Toxic positivity is still toxic. Midlife is complex. You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to grieve. You don’t have to smile through it.

What actually helps: 

Letting yourself feel it all. It’s okay to have feelings- big feelings. Real growth comes from being honest—not pretending.

#8: “You’re too sensitive.” 

No. You’re not. You’re aware. You’re intuitive. You’re processing a lot. That’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.

What actually helps: 

Learning to honor your emotions. For too long we’ve been told to keep those feelings inside- you’re weak if you show them. Not true. Creating space for feelings instead of suppressing them is crucial. Sensitivity is a superpower.

#9: “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.” 

I really don’t like this one. I mean it sounds nice until you’re advocating for yourself and getting dismissed. Healing and change aren’t passive—they’re active choices.

What actually helps: 

Taking small steps. Asking questions. Saying what you need. You get to participate in your own life.

#10: “Age is just a number.” 

Let’s not pretend age doesn’t matter—it does. Not because you’re old and broken, but because your needs change. Dismissing that can keep women stuck and silent.

What actually helps: 

Embracing your age with strength. Advocating for your health. Owning your voice. Aging isn’t the enemy—it’s the invitation.

So, yeah. That’s a lot of cringe. Wellness isn’t about perfection or pretending. It’s about support, science, and self-compassion- and if you’re ready for that kind of support—check out The Holistic Menopause Solution. It’s honest. It’s empowering. And it’s built for you.

Until next time—keep growing, keep blooming, and above all, keep it real.